A Monthly Publication

 I recalled the recent article by your “agricultural expert” while waiting at the check-out at a local supermarket. The article had correctly criticised these emporia for being neither “super”, nor “markets” (to paraphrase Voltaire – or was it the other one?).

For weeks I have been searching for turnips and found never a one – not even a spectacularly priced, gold-plated organic specimen. Plenty of swedes – big as cannon balls: twice as hard: and just about as tasty. But flavourful turnips ?  Nary a one.

Then “Brassica rapa !”  as Archimedes cried in his bath -  I found some !

Greedily I scooped them up, covering my actions like a shoplifter lest other customers spy my treasure and deny me.

At the check-out – the usual hiatus when it turned out their price wasn't in the system. Off went another assistant. Returns full of apology  “I'm sorry we can't sell you these turnips...........”   Aghast!...  Why not?... Protest …. Apologies.......  “Not in the system........etc. ….etc...etc......”  More apologies.  Not their fault.  I left turnipless.

When we first moved to Norfolk I had salivated in anticipation of fresh-caught fish and muddy veggies dug that day.   Yet I find myself in supermarkets bearing the same names and no doubt selling the same produce from the same central warehouses as we had bought in London. My disappointment is on-going.

In my youth there were market gardens serving the needs of the local community.

People kept a few chickens and sold the eggs. No doubt in rural areas there were small-holdings with a few pigs and in coastal areas such as ours  - fishermen bringing in their catches daily.

Given the ever growing need for food sustainability isn't it about time these businesses were re-introduced? Public land could be leased at a peppercorn rent and perhaps we could all guarantee to buy a certain value of produce annually to make the enterprises viable: providing vital local employment.

Whenever the Council pushes out yet another Strategic Spatial Environmental Development Plan, distinguished only by its vain attempt to disguise its paucity of original thinking by its expensively professional presentation, I suggest this idea but am ignored.

Oh Baldrick where are thou now in this hour of thy country's need.

All I want is a nice turnip!